Sunday, January 3, 2010

How To Turn an $800 Monthly Liability into a $2400 a Month Liability in Four EZ

I hate the government more and more these days. How is it that people who are so obviously, utterly retarded actually get paid to manage the welfare of society?

Speaking of fucking welfare, the Alabama department of Brain Dead Bitches in Charge of Employment and Other Stupid Shit has this to say:

MONTGOMERY – Alabama Department of Industrial Relations Director Tom Dumbass and Alabama Department of Human Resources Commissioner Nancy Pantsy are urging Alabama’s employers to hire low income individuals. Employers who hire individuals who are part of DHR’s Family Assistance Program may be eligible to be reimbursed for 100% of gross wages paid to each qualifying individual for up to six months.

Seriously? How could this not go wrong? They might as well have said:

Hey, greedy corporate pigs! Hire you some losers and we'll pay you for that shit! Then after the six months is up, you can fire those dumb bitches and hire you some new ones and we'll pay for them, too!

I mean, am I the only one who sees the potential for further corporate malfeasance here? Is there any way that this doesn't constitute corporate welfare? Is there any way that this doesn't constitute a form of subsidized slavery? As a tax payer, I say just give the lazy little bitches and hos they money to sit at home and smoke weed and fuck. This welfare-to-work bullshit leaves entirely too many ghetto kids unattended as it is.

Fuck. I can't get a job and my stupid ass went to college. I shoulda went on da welfare, then at least I'd have a job . . . for six months, which is long enough to earn unemployment benefits . . . for six months, before I go back on the welfare. All this plus free labor for the corporations and Earned Income Credit tax refunds to boot!

BAM! Another financial crisis averted by the geniuses in charge. Now if we could only find a way for participating companies to be able to write this shit off on their taxes. . . .

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